It's measurement week! I was super excited about this one as I am sure I have done well. My last measurements were very small, which I expected but a nice number is always a boost. I forgot to do a meal plan which I was told off for. She reminded me that is important for me to stay focused. She is right, I am a visual person, I work well off a list and there is simply no excuse for me not to follow something as basic as jotting down my meals.
It's been 2 months now and I have found I am eating regularly. I am less tired and now I face the harder job of not only sticking to this routine but motivating myself to excercise and work on my body image. Since I was young, I have cared little what people thought of me. I am a tom boy I always have been, I preferred playing with mud or kicking a ball around with the lads, to make up or crying that the stray wild hair meant I was having a bad hair day! The result is I am now at 29 completely clueless on how to be feminine! Quite literally my boobs are the only thing that seperates me from the male side of the human race! Because of this I just tie my hair up, bung on jeans and a tshirt and (here comes the trampy bit) worry about washing my hair every 4-5 days! I do realise that I need this confidence in myself. If I feel good I look good right? When the girls were younger I got away with the excuse that with a 4 year old and a newborn I had no time to concentrate on myself. That quickly turned into, no time now I have an 8 year old and a 4 year old, then a 10 year old and a 6 year old! Big K is 13 next year and it did occur to me that when it comes to her asking me advice on make up or clothes... I am, in the politest way possible... Screwed! This is my new goal this month. I am to learn something about myself, something which will make me feel better and motivate me to push myself further on my weight loss journey. I chose to be more feminine. I want curves in the right places, glowing skin, silky hair and all the other stereotypical femine things. Most importantly I just do not want to feel like such a man!
After having that discussion with my nurse she agreed that this is a good way to work on my body image. She warned me that I may be pushing myself too much but I am up for the challenge. She wrote "baby steps" in big red writing across my progress book and told me it will come in handy on the days when I feel like giving up.
With regards to my weight, I stayed the same. I expected to be more dissapointed but Mother Nature made a call last week so I am one big bloated sack of water! We decided that I would be measured next week when I can be given a more truer sizing. I prefer that. Although I would like to go back in 4 weeks time and see this massive inch drop, she is right. The truth is better in the long run as I rely on the figures in my book to keep me on a positive train of thoughts. Without them I likely would have given up by now.
This week I am preparing lots of vegetable soups and with the cold weather now in full force, stews will be filling up most of my meal plan. I am determined this week to start an excersise routine which I will add to future diet update posts :)
Here's to next week!