It is a quick post this week as i am getting prepared for a short trip away. I am taking my kids on a train home, to London for 4 days while it is half term. Due to this i was unable to stay at the doctors today to have my usual chat with the nurse and simply had to get weighed and run through a very basic menu planner inspection. As i have no control over what my brother will cook in his house, i have not set a meal plan at all. The nurse was ok with this and gave me some tips to keep on track.
Happily i lost 1 and 1/2lbs, i thought i would this week as i have been extra strict on my eating routine. I have had a rough week mentally and need to see the doctor about my lack of sleeping. I have found that i have been arguing with myself about whether i can be bothered to eat or not. Really.... i actually get to the point where i cant sum up the motivation to even eat food. It was that one sentence that snapped me back. I am still a little fragile but i know it will pass and i think as long as i can keep pushing myself, i will be ok. I have printed lots of visual aids for me to look at and blown up and picture of me looking, what can only be described as awful, in the hope that this spurs me on.
My weight loss this week was just what i needed to send me over the fence, into the bright side so to speak. I needed the confidence boost, someone to tell me i am doing the right thing. I hate any form of human contact when my moods hit this form of low, but Gareth forced me (actually forced me, he pushed me into a taxi) to get off my backside and stop listening to that little voice inside my head telling me that i will fail.
When i got home i done what i was asked not to do and i measured myself. I see no difference but the numbers are telling me otherwise. They are only small drops, minute actually, but they mean so much to me and keep me going. I think i will have a word with the nurse about possibly measuring myself once a fortnight instead of once a month. I can tell i have lost some weight around my belly. The wasitband on a pair of jeans which once cut right into me are now loose enough that i can breathe. They are still tight, alot tighter than i would like to wear but just the fact that im not gasping for breath when strutting my stuff in them means i am heading in the right direction.